Category Archive: Morsel Institute

Twisty’s gastronomic adventures

May 16 2009

Hugs, Twisty: swinesploitation

Sexy pig stripper spreads its trotters for your dining pleasure. From super-gross White Castle ad (link below).

Hi Twisty, Remembering your post about the SuicideFood blog I thought you might be interested in this super-gross ad, featuring a stripper pig. Also, I really enjoy your blog! Melanie Dear Melanie, It was extremely thoughtful of you to send in a super-gross ad, for indeed, super-gross ads always interest me, particularly when they’re savage …

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May 15 2009

Spinster aunt grossed out by example computation in WolframAlpha intro vid

It doesn’t understand “golden retriever” but orange juice and cheese, hell yeah. Would I like to supersize that?

May 14 2009

Finish your glass of oppression, Billy; it cost $1.98

What a cow in a pasture looks like. Texas longhorn, Cottonmouth County, TX, 2008. Stingray — you remember Stingray, my sidekick? — remarked the other day that Horizon organic dairy products aren’t really organic, but that Organic Valley products are. “What!” I said. “Misleading labeling practices? Here in America? What’s next? Will President Obama fail …

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Jan 27 2009

First, the bad news

BatterBlaster

I’ve just found organic aerosol waffle batter, and I’m telling everyone! Just heat up the old waffle iron, point, and squirt! Try it with a glob of organic aerosol whipped cream for a virtuous-yet-space-age breakfast experience that can’t be beat. Waffle-hatas in your breakfast nook? Let’em do the whippet! While I absorb my organic aerosol …

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Nov 30 2008

Thanks for nothing 2008

stuffing_ativan.jpg

With all the patriarchy I’ve been blaming over the past few years, I’ve somehow drifted away from my roots. That is, it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted a photograph of my lunch. Who among us right-thinking honky Americans is not conflicted (“conflicted” meaning the discomfiture experienced when it becomes necessary to juggle opposing …

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Sep 21 2008

Spinster aunt still AWOL

I admit it. I am a blogger in name only, at least for a while longer. The move to the Faster country seat is taking longer than previously anticipated, and further complications have complicated things. I dislike complication, and am not taking it well. At this juncture, no tub of Cool Whip is safe from …

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Aug 22 2007

I don’t know if real feminists eat this or not

bluestar_quiche.jpg

Pressing spinster auntly business (I have to lounge by a pool again, dammit) will keep me away from my desk today, but I can’t see leaving yall without a photograph of some quiche. From the Blue Star Cafeteria. Which is a dumb name for a restaurant that isn’t a cafeteria.

Aug 18 2007

A selection of open letters, one of which is not like the others

fliphappycrepes.jpg

Of course you care what I had for lunch: a spinach and goat cheese crepe with caramelized onion and tomato from Flip Happy Crepes. To the two 6th St. joggers who ducked into Whole Foods, made for the produce section, proceeded to cool themselves by rolling cucumbers over their sweaty B.O. hides, and then put …

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Jul 04 2007

Garish dinner photo of the week

zoot_shrimp_essence.jpg

The foam-as-food trend, invented a few years ago by that El Bulli guy in Spain, has hit Austin at last. Or maybe it’s been here all along and I’ve eaten it 46 times but because I have chemo-brain it slipped my mind. But in any event, the other night at Zoot — an upscaly joint …

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Jun 08 2007

The tedium thickens

uchi_foie_gras.jpg

Seared foie gras from Uchi the other night. Like eating waterfowl-flavored butter. Naturally, my cheepo webhost cannot stand it when a spinster aunt tries to run more than one database off his stupid cheepo server, so I’ve had to shut down the forum to keep it from eating the blog. Fans of the forum should …

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