Category Archive: Number 1 Science Information

Mar 20 2013

TMI: spinster aunt surprised by spinster aunt’s obesity

As I revealed in the comments to yesterday’s post on Big Gulps, Sarah Palin, and metabolic disease, I recently had my personal auntly body fat measured. They dunked me like a donut in a sort of clinical baptismal vat, whereupon it was revealed that the spinster aunt is comprised of 37% fat. This, it will …

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Mar 19 2013

Eat more kale.

Gulp on, Palin. Nothing says "Freedom!" like the right to cook your liver in its own fat.

No spinster aunt would presume (except in her dreams) to tell anyone over the age of nine what to eat. We aunts can but lead by example, sanctimoniously choking down our raw-kale-on-Mestemacher-fitness-bread sandwiches, perhaps while casually describing the process by which ad-lib fructose turns the viscera into diseased slabs of fat. However, one can’t help …

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Aug 20 2012

Genius politician/human reproduction expert Todd Akin

Veteran blamer Liza sneaked this link into the comments on yesterday’s post: the pinkfaced Republican genius running against Missouri senator Claire McCaskill has breaking news about human reproduction. According to nominee Todd Akin, women possess heretofore unheard-of “biological defenses” against any pregnancy that might result from a thing he calls “legitimate rape.” That women can …

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Feb 13 2012

No. 2 Science Information

“Idleness is the parent of all psychology.” Nietzsche said it, I believe it, and that settles it! The gasbag Nietzsche, as you know, was a horse lover. Like many horse lovers, he went nuts trying to save a cart horse from being beaten in the streets of Turin and died, a madman of the first …

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May 18 2011

Science dude states obvious, gets news and blog media coverage

Stephen Hawking has announced that “the afterlife,” that mythical spirit-world so beloved of godbags, is a “fairy story for people who are afraid of the dark.” At last, a certified smart dude validates my lunatic determination to base my afterlife views on the overwhelming non-evidence for the existence of an omnipotent cosmic concierge with a …

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Apr 09 2011

Spinster aunt continues to be irked by Dove soap ads

This science picture shows how the surface of your skin is actually a miniature Chuck E Cheese foam ball sinkhole

The brilliant Sarah Haskins vanished from the infoMANIA television show in January 2010, and has somehow managed to elude Google on the subject of her current professional status. This is sad news for rabid fans like me, who would much prefer that, regardless of the personal costs to her, Haskins keep cranking out quality feminist …

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Mar 21 2011

Spinster aunt reads interesting email

Despite the dire predictions saturating yesterday’s news, last night’s “supermoon” didn’t precipitate too many cosmic cataclysms or harmonic convergences here in Cottonmouth County. The toilets still flush clockwise and my internet connection remains intact. Sometimes intact internet connections bum me out, but today I was pleased to discover among the emails a communiqué from Athena …

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Mar 10 2011

Spinster aunt has a cow, man

For our next riveting installment of Heartwarming Nature Crap, I present the heartwarming Texas longhorn heifer (or calf — what am I, some kinda cattle sexpert?) who lives across the creek from El Rancho Deluxe with a herd of much, much bigger longhorns. This longhorn herd greatly interests my dogs, to the extent that they …

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Mar 02 2011

Spinster aunt conducts junk study of dogs and restrooms

Yesterday the Spinster Junk Studies Department promised its own junk study, and here it is! You can view the original raw data here. Blamers and Dogs 63% of responding blamers don’t know how their dog feels about them, either because they don’t have a dog, or they lack sufficient data to determine their dog’s views, …

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Mar 01 2011

WTF is with that survey, anyway?

You might have noticed that we snuck in a little survey dealio over there on the sidebar. It consists of 10 statements followed by multiple choice responses, all of which are the product of the Spinster Sociology Lab. It is a test survey, to try out the software, but I think it might reveal stuff …

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