Category Archive: Patriarchy, my patriarchy

Patriarchy defined

Apr 02 2009

It’s bleak to me


or Shut up, woman! Say what you will about Spinster Aunt Global’s Comparative Language Lab; our legendary world-famous notoriety is well-known for two reasons. One is our extraordinary subtlety, an almost, um, what’s the word … undetectable expertise in our field of study. The other is that we’re perpetually contemplating opening a branch office in …

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Apr 01 2009

That’s some catch, that Catch 22

You think “enemy combatants” are the only people who can be denied access to an attorney and thrown in prison without having been convicted of any crime? Wrong-o. In Delta County, Michigan, USA, they’re doing it to homeless single mothers. I allude to the egregious tale of Edwina Nowlin, who earlier this month was jailed …

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Mar 06 2009

Pole dancer goes for the gold

Today’s reader submission comes from blamer eb, who hips me to a petition on Facebook — currently endorsed by nearly 75,000 tools of the patriarchy — to “get pole dancing in 2012 Olympics.” The originator of the petition, Collette Kakuk, who appears to be affiliated with a California pole dancing studio, invites Facebookians to join …

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Feb 21 2009

Qui a coupé le fromage?

What would blogulation be if readers didn’t persistently and selflessly give of their intellective powers to correct the blogger on all points large and small? I doubt we’ll ever know, for a post without a nitpicky comment is like a day without patriarchy: nonexistent. Think your typo will go unremarked? Tink agin! Feel like misquoting …

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Jan 27 2009

Spinster aunt dies a little inside


Women with a low opinion of ankles shimmy for the gold in a race event broadcast on Finnish TV. Photo originally uploaded by vestman with some rights reserved. Will the global appetite for stiletto-racing never be sated? Quoth a Flickr commenter, apparently without irony: “This is one of the most joyous photos I have ever …

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Dec 02 2008

Spinster aunt thinks two things at once

Lots of the ideas put forth by Shulamith Firestone in The Dialectic of Sex intrigue the fuck out of spinster aunts, but none intrigues the fuck out of them like this one: that in a post-patriarchal society, culture (inclusive, I am happy to say, of art) will become irrelevant and extrinsic and die a long-overdue …

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Dec 01 2008

Spinster aunt forgoes spider safari in selfless service of greater good


Of the Hill Country thrushes, the Eastern bluebird, a species commonly thought to exist exclusively in Disney cartoons, infests El Rancho Deluxe with the least compunction. You can scarcely poke your head out the door around here without about 137 of’em swarming in to perch on you, radiating happiness. In a tribute to Western godbagosity, …

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Jul 02 2007

Kid stuff

In yesterday’s brief essay I alluded to a news story about a women-only beach on the Adriatic. Almost as an afterthought I included the detail that the children as well as men are banned from this beach. Because I just fell off the turnip truck yesterday, I had not expected this seemingly minor point to …

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May 19 2007

Old bag’s lament


This bag was no good because once I got a niece or two stuffed in there, there was hardly any room for a box of Altoids. I spent a quarter of a century on a quest. That quest was for a partner in greatness. A decent shoulder bag. “Say, this one looks pretty good,” I’d …

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May 11 2007

Desperate housewife


One of my genius blood relatives sounds off in the sandbox at P. Terry’s Burger Stand (South) I should probably just send this mildy amusing link to my sister Tidy, who is up to her amygdala in screaming brat soup, but I figured that you blamers — and I don’t mean the .0003% of you …

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