Category Archive: The Beauty Ultimatum

Women had better do everything in their power to be beautiful, or else.

Sep 27 2005

Fashion Week: The Corset Tightens

I know I promised to complain about tiny handbags today, but something’s come up. Specifically, a nice comment left by Nassoid on yesterday’s Intro To Fashion Week post. So we’ll just clear up this little matter, shall we, and then it’s on to the fluff! Yep, I was anticipating the argument that, by offering a …

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Aug 02 2005

Tail, Part II

[Today's essay rapidly outgrew its original incarnation as a response to the many excellent comments on yesterday's post about the so-called "real" women in the current Dove ad campaign. It doesn't say anything new, but it's a marginally better essay. Cuz it's longer!] When strolling down the avenue–which avenue, by capitalist mandate, is entirely papered …

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Aug 01 2005

Dove’s Tail

Photo not available Dove Girl Gina displays her intellectual depth with a shake of the old moneymaker. She feels beautiful whenever she poses in her underwear for money. I can be silent no longer! This Dove-is-so-great crap must cease! Dove is not so great! Dove’s “real” women are, like, 22, and they’re conventionally pretty, and …

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Jul 17 2005

The Vagina Dialogue

Actual size. I’ve seen’em twice as big. And, god help us all, they fucking fly. In case you were wondering whether there is any downside to living in South Austin, I bring you Periplaneta fuliginosa, the giant flying Smokybrown Cockroach of Zilkerland. Now, as the director of the Twisty Center for Urban Varmint Research, you …

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Jun 17 2005

We Wear Short Shorts

Salvador Dali "Self-Portrait as Mona Lisa" (1954) American women, and I suppose some American men, too, if they are pretending to be progressive, view the Veiled Woman as a grim symbol of Muslim paternalism run amok. In the US, the veil is the logo of terrible oppression. I’m not saying veiled women aren’t oppressed. In …

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