[Today's essay rapidly outgrew its original incarnation as a response to the many excellent comments on yesterday's post about the so-called "real" women in the current Dove ad campaign. It doesn't say anything new, but it's a marginally better essay. Cuz it's longer!] When strolling down the avenue–which avenue, by capitalist mandate, is entirely papered …
Category Archive: The Beauty Ultimatum
Women had better do everything in their power to be beautiful, or else.
Aug 01 2005
Dove’s Tail
Photo not available Dove Girl Gina displays her intellectual depth with a shake of the old moneymaker. She feels beautiful whenever she poses in her underwear for money. I can be silent no longer! This Dove-is-so-great crap must cease! Dove is not so great! Dove’s “real” women are, like, 22, and they’re conventionally pretty, and …
Jul 17 2005
The Vagina Dialogue
Actual size. I’ve seen’em twice as big. And, god help us all, they fucking fly. In case you were wondering whether there is any downside to living in South Austin, I bring you Periplaneta fuliginosa, the giant flying Smokybrown Cockroach of Zilkerland. Now, as the director of the Twisty Center for Urban Varmint Research, you …
Jun 17 2005
We Wear Short Shorts
Salvador Dali "Self-Portrait as Mona Lisa" (1954) American women, and I suppose some American men, too, if they are pretending to be progressive, view the Veiled Woman as a grim symbol of Muslim paternalism run amok. In the US, the veil is the logo of terrible oppression. I’m not saying veiled women aren’t oppressed. In …
Should you wish to flatter me with theft
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