Category Archive: The megatheocorporatocracy

Where godbags, big business, and government collide; also known as patriarchy, the dominant paradigm, and the culture of domination.

May 14 2009

Finish your glass of oppression, Billy; it cost $1.98

What a cow in a pasture looks like. Texas longhorn, Cottonmouth County, TX, 2008. Stingray — you remember Stingray, my sidekick? — remarked the other day that Horizon organic dairy products aren’t really organic, but that Organic Valley products are. “What!” I said. “Misleading labeling practices? Here in America? What’s next? Will President Obama fail …

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Apr 22 2009

Spinster aunt trots out statistics from Internet to make point

How long has it been since you’ve had the pleasure of reading some opinionated spinster auntly pronouncements? Well, that’s too long. Today I have two things to say, and, as usual, I’m probably gonna use too many words to say’em. So, if you’re short on time, here’s the synopsis: Anyone who uses the term “funbags” …

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Apr 21 2009

Rape culture and stupidity for your iPhone

Turn your iPhone into a Dude Paradise Generator with this remote control app.

The iPhone used to be the purview of elitists and geeks. A current Apple commercial says it still is, attempting to illustrate the unsurpassed coolness of its product by demonstrating that it can be used to read books and MRIs. However, now that iPhones have filtered into the mainstream, they are little more than mediocrity-delivery …

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Apr 14 2009

Patriarchy on autopilot

Not long ago I posted a blurbette on the Saudi asshole who married his 8-year-old daughter to a middle-aged creep in exchange for $8000; the Saudi courts wouldn’t grant her a divorce because — yup, it’s true — the kid was too young to file the suit. By way of updating the case: now the …

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Mar 31 2009

Schmucknozzle of the Week: Hamid Karzai

You know that zany, completely unfounded Unified Patriarchy Theory proposed by eccentric spinster aunts and certain other women who advocate flat shoes? The theory that defines patriarchy as a culture of domination composed of default humans (males) who maintain dominion over everyone and everything else, including a class of indentured sex receptacles (women)? The theory …

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Mar 26 2009

UK shrinks suffer case of double-barbaria

Lobe been blown yet today? In the UK 17% of psychiatrists surveyed said they “had agreed to help at least one patient ‘reduce’ their gay or lesbian feelings when asked to do so.” Hey, UK psychiatrists! Enough already with the Dr Frankenstein crap. This “cure” shit is fraying the Twisty neurons. Many straight people in …

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Feb 24 2009

Hugs, Twisty: only YOU can prevent assimilation

Today’s Hugs, Twisty asks the tone-deaf question “how do you fight the power?” Dear Twisty, I would like to refer you this ghastly t-shirt (appropriately classified as “funny” on this yahoo shop site), my knowledge of which is sadly not theoretical or internet-based. No, it was actually worn by a male acquaintance of mine at …

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Feb 21 2009

Qui a coupé le fromage?

What would blogulation be if readers didn’t persistently and selflessly give of their intellective powers to correct the blogger on all points large and small? I doubt we’ll ever know, for a post without a nitpicky comment is like a day without patriarchy: nonexistent. Think your typo will go unremarked? Tink agin! Feel like misquoting …

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Feb 04 2009

Sure, eight is enough, but lighten up already, raging ethics debatists!

When PhysioProf said in an off-topic comment on a previous post — a post which, though it contains words, is fairly devoid of philosophic value, hence, one assumes, PP’s inclination to suggest a more tantalizing tangent — “Hey, TF, what’s your take on the fucking octuplets?” I said to myself, “Twisty,” I said, “what is …

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Feb 04 2009

Spinster aunt just can’t let it go

Naturally you are following with unprecedented interest the shocking story of Mungo’s sudden decline, so here is the current state of affairs down at the Spinster HQ computer lab: Total disarray! But the outlook, according to the Magic Eight Ball, is good. Sure, I’m no board-certified geek, but I am a spinster aunt, which is …

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