Category Archive: The Spinster’s Finger on the Pulse of Yesterday

In which we are slightly behind the 8-ball

Mar 10 2014

International Women’s Day: 24 hours of the “Unique Female Perspective”

celebratewomen

Another International Women’s Day come and gone. How time flies. It’s hard to believe it’s been a whole year since Western interests last “celebrated” women by putting photos of smiling ladies in colorful turbans on their websites. I spent International Women’s Day, not celebrating women, but freaking out because my horse Stella had suddenly come …

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Mar 10 2013

Spleenvent Monday

We were members of the Buddy Holly Glasses tribe.

Omigod, the week I’ve had. You know the week I mean. Sick horses, sick horse-girls, daylight savings time, 80-year-old mom gets a new computer, yadda yadda. So I almost forgot about Spleenvent. I know! I suck! But please enlarge, with all speed, on whatever theme weighs upon your spleen, even though it’s Monday. Here’s my …

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Jun 21 2012

Ladyjunk strikes fear in hearts of Michigan ledge

Cast your mind back, back, back through the mists of time to the craggy cliffs of the distant past, and you may recall a little blurb I wrote on the subject of the vaginafication of pop culture. Media personages, in an effort to enhippen themselves using the time-honored technique of women’s objectification, have taken to …

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Dec 02 2011

Spinster aunt forgets what year it is, starts yammering about RapeAxe again

Cheesey BDSM-wear, only 500 bucks on eBay.

Jayzus in a jetpack. So much has happened since last we spoke that I’m just going to ignore it all and proceed straight to the latest installment of the Anti-Rape Device Chronicles. You know the Anti-Rape Device Chronicles, right? A long and sordid history attends the battle for dudely control over the problematic human vagina. …

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Aug 10 2011

Spinster aunt casts jaundiced eye at scepter of passion

When Kubrick was making the film “Lolita” he was crabbed out that the prudey production code wouldn’t allow him to enfilthen 13-year-old actress Sue Lyon with all the dude-pleasin “eroticism” in Nabokov’s icky novel. He intimated that the godbag-enforced lack of explicit child porn is what caused the film’s initial lukewarm reception and prevented it …

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Mar 19 2011

Spinster aunt reads comment on Dawkins website, wrinkles lip

Liberal dudes (and that boobquake chick) just love celebrity biologist Richard Dawkins. Even some Internet feminists may be said not to vomit blood at the mention of his name. Because no greater proponent of atheism than yours truly ever camera-stalked a Rio Grand turkey in the Texas Hill Country, even the Spinster Library contains a …

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Apr 23 2010

Spinster aunt reads boobquake emails

Hey folks, you can stop sending me the “boobquake” alert. Consider me apprised. What’s a “boobquake”? A reaction to some dude’s proclamation that saucy women showing cleavage are responsible for the recent catastrophic earthquakes, “Boobquake” is blogger Jen McCreight’s idea of “a boob joke.” Damn, those are always hilarious! McCreight’s boob joke was this: since …

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Feb 22 2010

Is your pout plump enough?

lip plumper

Oh my fucking god, behold yet another story in a major American newspaper wherein the writer gets all verklempt about this wack new burlesque craze, just fifteen short years after the first quasi-transgressive hipsters disentombed it from its well-deserved mothball crypt in the misogynist perv-pile. Any excuse to interview a semi-nude chick with a stripper …

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Jan 28 2010

Original iPad joke

Remember this vid from the Jerktassic Epoch? Jokes about menstruation are hilarious because menstruation is gross and alluding to it is fucking transgressive.

Dec 30 2009

Happy fucking new year

Speaking of mayhem, it’s about time for the Annual Holiday Trio of Random Passages from the SCUM Manifesto. “A small handful of SCUM can take over the country within a year by systematically fucking up the system, selectively destroying property, and murder: SCUM will become members of the unwork force, the fuck-up force; they will …

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