Category Archive: The Spinster’s Finger on the Pulse of Yesterday

In which we are slightly behind the 8-ball

Dec 03 2009

Spinster aunt explains comedy

Whenever I hear some guy say that feminists don’t have a sense of humor, I want to punch that guy in the neck. What I mean is, I want to take a bunch of tiny razors and glue’em to a glove, kind of around the knuckle area, and put on this glove and then punch …

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Nov 21 2009

Funny sexism: harms outweigh benefits

The No Shit! Department at Spinster HQ brings you breaking news from 2007: Study shows that sexist jokes induce actual sexism! Two long years ago psychology researcher Thomas E Ford et al authored a paper revealing that when dudes sit around guffawing at dumb blonde jokes, they are more likely to cut funding to women’s …

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Nov 15 2009

Same stupak, different day

I Blame the Patriarchy marches to the beat of a different news cycle, so this may be ancient history to you, but, Stupak! I propose that “stupak” be incorporated into common usage as a verb meaning “to ensure political victory by means of screwing women over bigtime.” My mind is not boggled that the health …

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Sep 12 2009

Midnight horror movie baffles spinster aunt

That’s right, it’s the recent David Carradine in drag, cradling the future enfant terrible and leaving little to the imagination, junk-wise, in the film’s most tender scene.

For two days and two nights it has been raining — raining! — in Rattlesnake, TX. The Spinster HQ yella Lab puppy, Francine, is young enough that she has never seen rain before, on accounta the relentless drought which has been droughting since before she was born early this summer. Rain, however, has quickly ascended …

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Sep 11 2009

Hugs, Twisty: The color of womanhood, plus I suck all the fun out of a Bette Davis classic

Staffers at Spinster HQ (namely, me and my secretary Phil) are always delighted when an incoming email is brief. We’re even more delighted when it does not contain some variation on the “your head is up your ass” theme. We’re even more delighted still when its author more or less desperately confides that s/he is …

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Sep 03 2009

Spinster aunt complains about Ted Kennedy

One of the reasons this spinster devotes fewer and fewer aunt-hours to reading blogs these days is the increasing likelihood that I will encounter something along the lines of “You call yourself a feminist? Shame on you for not writing about blahblahblah.” Whereupon the blogger in question writes sanctimoniously about blahblahblah. I fucking hate that …

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Jul 21 2009

Spinster aunt has no time to title post on Apollo 11

Any nerd, geek, dork, or other-type-genius of a certain age who suffered no pang of nostalgia this week during the wah-hoo over the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission might want to have her obstreperal lobe checked for leaks. I offer a few unconnected remarks on the subject. The remarks are unconnected because in …

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Jun 21 2009

Spinster aunt longs to bathe lobe

Ever since the Lightning Strike of Aught Nine took out my radio tower and my satellite and the computer running the missile silos I have aimed at various undisclosed megatheocorporatocratic installations, I’ve been out of the loop. I just heard that David Letterman told a tasteless joke about Willow Palin getting knocked up. I don’t …

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May 28 2009


Just checking in to see how my “indictment” is going. I see I have been voted off Savage Death Island. Brilliant. Oh, looky. I’m likened to Don Imus! Ha! Good one. And several demands for a public apology, as though I were some elected official who has trodden upon Roe v Wade in a pair …

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May 14 2009

Finish your glass of oppression, Billy; it cost $1.98

What a cow in a pasture looks like. Texas longhorn, Cottonmouth County, TX, 2008. Stingray — you remember Stingray, my sidekick? — remarked the other day that Horizon organic dairy products aren’t really organic, but that Organic Valley products are. “What!” I said. “Misleading labeling practices? Here in America? What’s next? Will President Obama fail …

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