Category Archive: Varmint Center

The spinster aunt’s adventures with critters wild and domestic.

Dec 03 2008

Spinster aunt has red wheelbarrow

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I know you ladies can’t get enough of these photos of garden tools with deer cavorting in the background.

Dec 03 2008

Spinster aunt likes deer

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Run, Bambi’s mom, run! No deer were harmed in the making of this photograph. My dog Bert was chasing her, though. He does this all the time, but so far the only mammal he has successfully run to earth is a skunk, and needless to say the skunk had the advantage in that stand-off. I …

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Dec 01 2008

Spinster aunt forgoes spider safari in selfless service of greater good

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Of the Hill Country thrushes, the Eastern bluebird, a species commonly thought to exist exclusively in Disney cartoons, infests El Rancho Deluxe with the least compunction. You can scarcely poke your head out the door around here without about 137 of’em swarming in to perch on you, radiating happiness. In a tribute to Western godbagosity, …

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Jul 07 2008

Keep South Austin just gimme that countryside

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As is always the case when I forget I have a blog, I’ve been getting emails from concerned blamers who have gotten it into their heads that the reason I’m not posting regularly is that I have been out sick with cancer again. I am sincerely moved by your interest in my tumors, but the …

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Mar 26 2008

Spiny arboreal lizard of the week

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Texas Spiny lizard, Sceloporus olivaceus. Male variety, actual size. Photographed March 25, 2008, at the Twisty Institute for Urban Varmint Research, North South Austin. This ordinarily doleful reptile amused me for half an hour yesterday with an unscheduled performance of an aerobics routine. It would run along the back of a wooden bench, stop suddenly, …

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Feb 22 2008

Stanley: now with even more invective

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“By creating the [Animal Compassion] Foundation, Whole Foods Market is pioneering an entirely new way for people to relate to farm animals [...].” — Whole Foods CEO John Mackey Tell me more, John Mackey; I look forward to hearing about this new relationship with farm animals that you so compassionately chop up in cellophane packages …

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Feb 12 2008

My main man

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I do not have to be asked twice to plaster all over the internet photos of my new boyfriend Stanley. I snapped this one of us with my cell phone seconds before he stuck his nose out and lipped it out of my hand. Stanley is in many respects much more interesting than patriarchy-blaming, not …

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Sep 04 2007

Tuesday other-peoples-dogs blogging

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Well, it’s happened. Unable to contain her lust for fame, glory, and riches, my sporty sibling Tidy has enrolled her dog Fletch in dock diving school. Dock diving is a competitive sport invented by ESPN wherein the dog runs like mad toward a body of water, launches itself, and endeavors to splash down at a …

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Aug 20 2007

The Procrastination Chronicles

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Today’s unrelated arachnid predation photo: Spinybacked orbweaver weaves orb outside Twisty kitchen window; eats head off bee. Gasteracantha cancriformis, North South Austin, August 2007. As longtime readers know, so that I can stay on top of developments in my field, Google sends me news’n’blog alerts, to the tune of hundreds a day, on topics relevant …

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Aug 20 2007

The Fucking Pedantic Asshole Chronicles

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Unrelated Hill Country Flood photo of the day: My critically-acclaimed golden retriever Bert taunts fate at the brink of deluge. El Rancho Deluxe, August 2007. You know how you’re sauntering along through your life minding your own beeswax, and some sexist shit goes down, and you, a feminist, naturally respond as one who is sick …

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