
I tried to upload a photo of a painted bunting, but this proved impossible, as it turns out I haven't actually taken any pictures of any painted buntings. Instead, please enjoy this photo of the spinster aunt's winsome young relative Finn. We were all surprised when her face did get stuck like that.
It must be annoying, dealing with a spinster aunt who only
pretends to be an Internet feminist.
I admit it; I have been moonlighting as a flesh-and-blood person lo these past few days, flitting around the countryside as though the Internet didn’t even exist. Spring is boinging up all over the rancho, and — not to be too adorable-woodland-creaturey about it — there are painted buntings to espy.
It’s not as easy as it sounds, espying painted buntings. They are not, apparently, my specialty. I mean, barn swallow: check. Summer tanager: check. Ladderbacked woodpecker: check. Scissor-tailed flycatcher, red-tailed hawk, mourning dove, roadrunner, assorted hummingbirds, Carolina wren, ostrich, black-crested titmouse, 8 black vultures sitting in a row on a fence: check, check, check.
But the painted bunting? It might as well be a dodo.
I regret that I do not have a decent post even now. In fact, all I have, in addition to my gripping bird-watching checklist, is a funny comment from the moderation box, left on an old post wherein I assert that culture is nothing but the realization of patriarchal fantasy. The comment goes like this:
Hey You People !!
I am a Man !! (Patriactical ??) …
I have a wife AND, I have a child …
I am (was) willing to step up to the PLATE (!!), to take the HIT from this loser, that was harassing BOTH, my wife AND my child …
It’s just NOT the female’s OR the child’s nature, to really be able to protect themselves …
Men are NECESSARY !!
But, men are NOT God !! …
And, men should Love their wives, and, men should Love their children …
I’ve ALWAYS tried to do, just those …
And, I’ve ALWAYS had a hard Time with art !!
But, I’ve always believed in, “freedom of expression !!”
So, I’ve put up with their art !!
I didn’t have anything (!!) to lose …
In closing, I don’t even know who Firestone is, but, Life IS Life !!
Let’s get on with IT, shall we !!
Yours truly,
[email address redacted to protect our correspondent from a flood of marriage proposals]
I offer the preceding, not as an excuse, exactly, but for your consideration as an explanatory condition regarding my obligation to take occasional unscheduled vacations from blaming. Even the spinster aunt, with her mighty nerves of steel, can only take so many ellipses before she snaps.
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