The Ancient Texts

The Ancient Texts of Savage Death Island: Patriarchy-Blaming the Twisty Way

Congratulations! Your interest in blaming the patriarchy places you among some of the most elite blamers of our time. The most popular ideology in the world, patriarchy provides blamers, both amateurs and professionals, with a rich and virtually endless supply of hideous source material.

In order to make everyone’s patriarchy-blaming experience more enjoyable, I have prepared the following pamphlet which touches briefly on some of I Blame The Patriarchy’s standards and practices.

A Handbook for Commenters

This is a feminist blog. It discusses feminism from the point of view that the value of the liberation of women from patriarchal oppression is not itself a matter of debate. In order to be considered suitable for posting here, your remarks must proceed from within a framework of radical feminist theory. Thanks! Please refer …

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About consent, or, the legalization of women’s humanity

The Problem with consent Although this condition does not obtain with regard to any other crime you can think of, when it comes to rape, women are currently considered to exist in a state of perpetual “yes!”. This is because “yes!” is consistent with global accords governing fair use of women. Victims of robbery or …

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Antifeminism

How does this blog define “antifeminism”? From Right Wing Women by Andrea Dworkin: Antifeminism is a direct expression of misogyny: it is the political defense of woman hating. This is because feminism is the liberation movement of women. Antifeminism, in any of its political colorations, holds that the social and sexual condition of women essentially …

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Banner

Jill Psmith. “I Heart the Meaty Buddha.” The Meaty Buddhas of Cottonmouth County. The Spinstitute for Awesome Spirituality, 2011. Allen Toussaint. “Everything I Do Gonh Be Funky (From Now On).” Sweet Touch of Love, Gusto Records, 2009. Jill Psmith. “Gulf Coast Toad.” The Toads of Cottonmouth County. The Spinstitute for Naturalistical Inquiry, 2009. Jill Psmith. …

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Email

Feel free to email me with suggestions for posts, or with links to this and that. In addition to patriarchy news in need of blaming, I also enjoy emails about dogs, Texas politics, kitchen gadgets, and how great you think I am. However. My circumstances have changed since I began writing this blog, and frequently …

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Godbags

A godbag is a bag full of hate and self-loathing wearing stage makeup that makes it look like a televangelist. Godbags use religion to justify the oppression of marginalized classes.

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Men hate you

Q: But seriously, I’m a man and I don’t hate women, so what’s with this “Men Hate You” section? A: All men exercise — and benefit from — male privilege, whether they want to or not. The exercise of male privilege is misogyny. The spinster aunt understands that there exist men who don’t actively choose …

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Miscellaneous Pronouncements

I represent neither all women nor all feminists as an elected spokesperson. Neither does any other woman of your acquaintance (this includes your wife, your girlfriend, that stripper friend of yours, and the characters on “Sex In The City”). Neither does it automatically fall upon me to defend the opinions of all other feminists. Therefore, …

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Motto

Q: Did you rip off the Odd Lady’s motto from Norbizness? A: I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

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MRAs

Q: What’s an “MRA”? A: Massively [W]rong Asshole. Or ‘men’s rights activist’. Q: Why don’t the Odd Lady want none of them in her car? A: MRAs are patriarchy-deniers. The ideologies of this violent and knobbish subset of the Male Dominion spring from male fear of women’s personal sovereignty, and manifest in practice as active …

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Opposing viewpoints

Dissenting opinions must clearly exhibit philosophic value. Antifeminist comments will not be admitted into discussion (except as comic relief). Disruptive comments, and responses to them, will be removed. Please click here for the definition of antifeminism I use on this blog. With my keen sense of the inevitable, I divine that you are about to …

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Patriarchy blaming, dudeliness, and you

Dude, could this be you? How am I, as a “straight” man, who has never EVER been violent towards a woman (or a guy for that matter), supposed to “step up and take responsibility for ending male violence”? Do you really think a “matriarchy” would be any better? What is wrong with being attracted to …

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Post Reproduction

Q: I totally agree with your brilliant analysis! Should I reproduce your post in its entirety on my own blog? A: I can’t stop you, but, you know, what the fuck? Write your own post. This is what separates discourse from cutting and pasting. When you quote me or anyone else, or when you paraphrase …

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Savage Death Island

Savage Death Island is the patriarchy blamer’s home world, where there are plenty of margaritas and no dudes.

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The Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women

The Global Accords Governing Fair Use of Women (GAGFUW) are that set of customs, institutions, behaviors, laws, taboos, narratives and traditions by which women are constrained to a sex class. The accords spring from the core belief that women are essentially indistinct from sex. From that core belief emanate the various provisions justifying — to …

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The Lysol thing

Because the original URL kept messing up everybody’s browser, here it is.

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Welcome To Cancerland

Welcome to Cancerland: A Mammogram Leads to a Cult of Pink Kitsch by Barbara Ehrenreich used to be published on this page in its entirety. This was back in the olden days before I fully appreciated the implications of intellectual property and stuff like that in the digital age. So now it’s a link.

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What about the men?

Q: Men experience [oppression/rape/porn/motherhood/PMS], too! What about them? A: This blog is written for women. Its purpose is to advance radical feminism, not to empathize with male experience, or to coddle with delicate reassurances the male visitor who is threatened by a woman-centric zeitgeist. Male experiences are not commensurate with women’s experiences because women are …

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Where’s my comment?

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Your Personal Problems

Q: Should I confide in you regarding my personal problems? A: No. However, should you ignore the preceding and act on the urge to decant your anguished soul via email, be advised that there is no Twisty-client privilege. That is, all emails received by Twisty Faster become the ‘property’ of I Blame The Patriarchy insofar …

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S.C.U.M. Manifesto

S.C.U.M. Manifesto (Society for Cutting Up Men) by Valerie Solanas 1968 [swiped from womynkind.org] Life in this society being, at best, an utter bore and no aspect of society being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money system, institute complete automation and …

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11 pings

  1. Feminist Law Professors » Blog Archive » She Blames The Patriarchy

    [...] FAQs about the blog are posted here. If the FAQs offend or disorient you, probably best not to head over to the main page. [...]

  2. Repeat Offender at I Blame The Patriarchy

    [...] For interested parties, I have provided, for the past year, a synopsis of my personal feministo-blogular views in the FAQ, with which FAQ I always implore (to little avail) visitors to familiarize themselves prior to tackling the blog proper. The synopsis, if you’ll forgive me the presumption of quoting myself, goes a little something like this: [...]

  3. Listics - Frank Paynter’s Voice and Vision… » A Blalk in the Blark…

    [...] I was gratified this morning by a comment from J. Alva Scruggs (not his real name). As often happens when someone leaves a comment I followed the link Scruggs left then surfed on through to other side. My Scruggs surfage led me to The Fifth Column. [Note to self… you really must enable permalinks on your own comments… end note to self]. Commenters at The Fifth Column are a merry band with charming names like Brian888, winna, xoid, and Magic Pink. These are not their real names, I think, but I like their direct style and communitarian good fellowship (or, as we say in the [air-quotes] BLOGOVERSE, their good [airquotes] BLellowship). I like it so much that I followed links on The Fifth Column’s blogroll hoping to see more of these peeps in other contexts. That blogroll is short and contains a couple of familiar names… Jon Husband and the Happy Tutor (one name real, one not). But it was by following the links to the less familiar places that I found the Loveologist (a second order link) and Twisty Faster. I also found a couple of great cat pictures, some cute, one sneaky. [...]

  4. Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony » Blog Archive » “Anything that’s over 60 kilos I don’t talk to”

    [...] How incredibly depressing. Of course I’ve crossed swords with MRAs/RWDBs galore, but I don’t talk much to the peaked-cap-and-commodore set, except in a professional setting, where they keep their pussy-hatred in check. I suppose we have the example of various footballers over the years, so my surprise was misplaced. How many men and boys out there are still being taught to think that way (the men in both examples are younger than I am)? Do people who run programs like Bodythink care? It seems to me they’re concerned with “treating” the “victims” rather than attacking the problem at it’s source. As Twisty would say, they need to do a bit of patriarchy blamin’. [...]

  5. It’s an accessory, not a choice. at PunkAssBlog.com

    [...] Analyze Julia’s statements, and tell us what part of the patriarchy/conspicuous consumer culture she’s pimping for most offensively, and why. For those of you who don’t meet Twisty’s standards, this is an excellent opportunity to hone your patriarchy-blaming skills. Don’t be shy, now. There’s plenty here to work with. [...]

  6. Reverse Paranoia | the cat lady speaks

    [...] This is all by way of explanation. Explanation for my terrific lack of punctuality in arriving at the blog of the fictional Twisty Faster, which is as hilarious as, say, a “feminist” argument for the decriminalization of prostitution. Except in a funny way, not a My-Final-Haha-As-I-Drown way. [...]

  7. Southern Discomfort » “Counter-terrorism” as defined in patriarchy-blaming terms, ca. 1993; fragments from my “Patty Hearst” years.

    [...] (With a prefatory hat-tip to that ultimate patriarchy-blamer, Twisty Faster, whose “Patriarchy-Blaming The Twisty Way“ contains a variety of helpful revelations.  Which is not to say that the famed spinster aunt would endorse a single word of what follows.  Frankly, I have no idea what she’d think.) [...]

  8. wayneandwax.com » Are These the Breaks?

    [...] Practical and ethical issues aside, let’s return to the main question for the sake of speculation: is the Amen the “most sampled” “break”? As I mentioned above, my intuitive sense is that the Amen break has indeed been employed a staggering number of times — quite disproportionate in relation to most of its breakbeat kin. Even so, I can’t confidently say whether it is or is not the “most sampled” break. And part of my hesitancy here is that I’m aware that there are several other recordings, similarly seminal we might say (blame the patriarchy), which I suspect might vie with the Amen at the top of the heap. [...]

  9. Writing in the Corner » Blog Archive » Progress

    [...] It’s really weird. For the longest time, I’ve thought myself agnostic, and suddenly, because some Godbag (Twisty’s term; look halfway down the page) slips publicly and dramatically, I’m thinking seriously about Jesus again. All thanks to a middle-aged Baptist living in Kentucky – that’s THREE ADJECTIVES that I would normally mock! It must be that he’s a Reds fan. [...]

  10. Flash Gordon Rocks

    [...] It’s almost as if I never explained that the Patriarchy isn’t about individual sweet, well-intentioned guys who like women and believe in equal pay for work of equal value and don’t blame rape victims being Big Bad Dudes in funny hats who sit enthroned surrounded by scantily clad concubines and chortle evilly as they oppress women. It’s almost as if nobody else ever did, either. It’s almost as if nobody ever explained the nature of male privilege in a reader-friendly format, or maybe a checklist or something. [...]

  11. Unedited Punkassblog post « Flash Gordon Rocks

    [...] It’s almost as if I never explained that the Patriarchy isn’t about individual sweet, well-intentioned guys who like women and believe in equal pay for work of equal value and don’t blame rape victims being Big Bad Dudes in funny hats who sit enthroned surrounded by scantily clad concubines and chortle evilly as they oppress women. It’s almost as if nobody else ever did, either. It’s almost as if nobody ever explained the nature of male privilege in a reader-friendly format, or maybe a checklist or something. [...]

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