I Blame The Patriarchy

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Comments Guidelines

These simple rules will improve your prose and make you rich, famous and lovable.

• Commenters should strive for excellence.

• Post no abusive language. ‘Abusive language’ means racist, sexist, anti-straight, anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-mother, anti-kid, antifeminist language.

• Bear in mind that I have not forced you to read this blog against your will, and am not the slightest bit interested in changing your mind.

• Your comments appear on my blog at my pleasure. I have not solicited your participation. You do not have a “right” to be heard on this or any other blog. Neither do I “owe” you the slightest respect, courtesy or explanation. I may delete any of your comments I choose, for whatever reason I choose. This includes any responses to those comments, if only for the sake of clearing out the stink.

• Occasionally my real life prevents me from spending 24 hours a day monitoring the blog. Sometimes I don’t read it at all. Thus, what may be perceived as my ‘knowing silence’ or ‘tacit approval’ of obvious bullshit commentary is nothing of the kind. In other words, while I make every effort to ensure that the comments precisely mirror my own unassailable views, sometimes crap sneaks by while I’m out doing the butt-dance down Congress Ave. This is too bad, but I am not responsible for the unsolicited asinine remarks that happen to show up this blog when I’m not looking. It’s the price of doing business.

• A troll is a teenage boy who employs abusive, misspelled language expressly to disrupt the grownups’ discussion. DO NOT RESPOND TO TROLLS. Responses to trolls will be nuked.

• If you find yourself commenting more than 2 or 3 times on a given post, please consider shutting the old piehole.

• Once in a while I actually put a little work into these posts. Kindly do me the favor of refraining from derailing the discussion with off-topicality. This is my personal blog, not a message board.

• In the interest of intelligibility, try to use words. Random typing is no substitute. Here are a few examples of random typing:

IMHO
b/c
ROTFL
:)
definately

• Kindly employ decent grammar, syntax, punctuation, and spelling, both when commenting, and during the course of your daily life.

• Ain’t got no dictionary handy? Download CleverKeys, an application for Mac and Windows that lets you right-click your way to precision and profundity in the English language. It’s no OED, but it’s better than nothing.

• Emoticons: is anything sadder?

• Do not use an ellipsis unless you possess the chops of an advanced punctuator. Failure to comply can result in comment deletion purely on the grounds of aesthetic decency.

• While you’re at it, you might as well avoid clichés, too.

• Do not begin a comment with the phrase “I haven’t read the post you’re all talking about, but –”.

• Resist the compulsion, in your haste to convey sarcasm, to commence with the word “um” or “er.” You are not an edgy young character in a sitcom.

• And for the lova god, use the fucking shift key! Anti-Capitalites are the crudest of life forms.

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